August 2011
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My dark secret = shame
When I was little I felt inferior to that little white girl, with the long legs, the bright eyes and gold hair that was smiling on my favorite tv shows, on cereal boxes; almost everywhere I looked.
Look- I’m not saying that I wasn’t a cute kid or that people didnt tell me that I was pretty- nothing like that.
I’m simply saying that the subliminal tactics to demean people of...
"before I die" street art →
i love this idea. It’s easily engaging and meaningful, but simple
THIS IS HILARIOUS LOLLLLL →
I’m about to get my body righhhhhhhttttt!!!! And that means hard core workout shape since Ramadan is at an end. What a beautiful experience- ending in a hurricane and a butterfly outside of my window. Inshallah.
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I think I figured it out. To make “contemporary” art you need to:
Draw a face or a body
Distort it or place it in offsettling context
make up some deep meaning that really is complete b.s.
Doneeee-zo.
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i think our generations likes using labels more due to a result of internet tagging and niche sites
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My fitness journey
90->112lbs
Once upon a time I was a “fitness style eater”. I watched my calorie intake, had a good carb, good protein diet. Took all of my vitamins.. And for whatever reason, my body packed on the muscle so fast…!!! But for my barellllly 5ft frame, to me, I didn’t really love the results.
100->120lbs
Then *wham!* college hit. The first 2 years were a transition...
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Rosenhan experiment - Wikipedia, the free... →
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My optimism is worn
Top 6 positives:
- I’m making art and dancing ( hopefully soon to start again with pursue my dreams I’d career)
- I have someone I love who loves and values me
-my family and friends are healthy and recovering
-life is relatively drama-free
-I have a roof over my head and sometimes money finds me
- I am spiritually aware and in a good/positive emotional place. I believe in me
...
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sensory deprivation tanks →
in honesty, judging from the claimed results of the test subjects this isnt too far off from advanced meditation. Most people can’t calm their minds or bodies to the extent needed to experience the phenomena and with this process, one is forced too.
anyway, cool read
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Proof that you can't do it all at once and have...
I finally went to practice today and it went well. But I came home and I was eXXXausted. I tried to work on that oil painting but I barely touched the sky and was frustrated. So I’m in bed hoping to fall asleep. Look alls I’m saying is, I can’t be great at everything all at once. When I have a great practice my creative energy goes into my dancing. When i don’t dance...
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i’d like to make friendships with guys who don’t have ulterior motives and girls that aren’t competing
i was very lucky of the last few years to have met the people that I have and to have had so many genuine friendships…those people are so hard to find. But now that everyone is moving forward and onward it’s time for me to be open to new people in my life during...
I went back and read all of my old entries bc I was sure at least 1 was raw and inappropriate- and instead I found that I am growing, I am blessed, and I am not as much of an asshole as I thought! Yay!
Btw thanks for following me guys! You all really grin and bare with me :)
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Please buy something or tell your friends! →
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Of course I can't sleep
What has come over me? I’m up at 3pm and in bed at 6am drinking soda and making work?! I feel like a crazy person but at best this is true solitude. Now I understand that in order to not be depressed- I should create. Bc I can think of nothing else right now but making something- even if it isn’t my best it is a creation that I bring into existence. Amazing.
Anyway last thought of...
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Ramadan
First week of fasting so far:
Day 1- no problem
Day 2- messed up by practicing bass
Day 3- not too bad until the last hr
Day 4- slept most of the day but had no problem
Day 5- drank wine the night before and had to drink water in the AM
So far so good! I’m struggling with prayer though. And also not listening to music…. The smaller things are most difficult bc they challenge my...
